The NES was a phenomenon, or - as I like to call it - a "pheno".
Alright, most of us in the UK didn't own one, but in Japan and America it was bigger than Krablex. It reinvigorated the games industry following its crash of '83, spawned cartoons and breakfast cereals, and turned Mario into the icon he is today.
Suffice to say, this was a bandwagon that many people tried to jump aboard, no matter how ill-conceived and half-baked their efforts to do so were.
You all know about the Power Glove and Nintendo's own Robotic Operated Buddy, but here's another ten unusual, mostly useless, peripherals.
Alright, most of us in the UK didn't own one, but in Japan and America it was bigger than Krablex. It reinvigorated the games industry following its crash of '83, spawned cartoons and breakfast cereals, and turned Mario into the icon he is today.
Suffice to say, this was a bandwagon that many people tried to jump aboard, no matter how ill-conceived and half-baked their efforts to do so were.
You all know about the Power Glove and Nintendo's own Robotic Operated Buddy, but here's another ten unusual, mostly useless, peripherals.
ROLL N' ROCKER
A plastic pressure-sensitive pad which replaced the D-pad. Players stood on it and tilted their body - while still gripping the joypad for the A and B buttons. Thus: "rocking" back and forth. However, despite the name, there wasn't a great deal of rolling required...
Unless that referred to your parents rolling their eyes as you played with your new birthday present for five minutes, before putting it under the TV, never to be used again.
Unless that referred to your parents rolling their eyes as you played with your new birthday present for five minutes, before putting it under the TV, never to be used again.
SPEEDBOARD
""The Speedboard, the fastest way to play your Nintendo Entertainment System! Puts the speed at your fingertips! Increase your game scores! Better reaction time and speed! Holds your controller so you don't have to!"
No. The Speedboard was a tatty, overpriced, piece of plastic into which you crammed your joypad for some undefined and inexplicable benefit. Also doubled up as a chopping board, or could be used to block up the hole in the drywall that Old Man Hudson keeps peeping through.
No. The Speedboard was a tatty, overpriced, piece of plastic into which you crammed your joypad for some undefined and inexplicable benefit. Also doubled up as a chopping board, or could be used to block up the hole in the drywall that Old Man Hudson keeps peeping through.
LOCKOUT
Essentially the console version of a Chasity belt, and the mid-80s equivalent of parents unplugging the wifi router, the Lockout was a combination lock which jammed into the NES cartridge slot, and prevented kids from playing games. And/or trying to have carnal relations with it.
"Martha! The boy's done it again..."
"We need the Lockout!"
"Martha! The boy's done it again..."
"We need the Lockout!"
SUPERCHAIR
Unlike the Roll N Rocker, the Video Game Super Chair did away with the joypad entirely. Players sat in it, and controlled movement by - once again - tilting their body. Except: this time the pad's buttons were built into the "struts".
It's a nice idea in theory, but the chair was very cheap and flimsy, and not even having Tracy Beaker on the box - surrounded by "flak" - could disguise this.
It's a nice idea in theory, but the chair was very cheap and flimsy, and not even having Tracy Beaker on the box - surrounded by "flak" - could disguise this.
TURBO TOUCH 360
The Turbo Touch 360 replaced the d-pad with a touch-sensitive pad, in an effort to reduce thumb damage. It was even endorsed by a medical professional, one Dr Robert Grossman, an orthopaedic surgeon specialising in sports injuries.
I wonder what Dr Grossman thought of the misjudged magazine ad which seemed to imply that players could use the Turbo Touch 360 to self-administer their own gastroscopy.
I wonder what Dr Grossman thought of the misjudged magazine ad which seemed to imply that players could use the Turbo Touch 360 to self-administer their own gastroscopy.
U-FORCE
"YOU TOUCH NOTHING!". Well, of course the U-Force didn't really work, as it was a predecessor to Microsoft's equally ill-fated Kinect, using IR sensors to detect where a player's hands were. In practice, the player waved their hands around like an agitated seal swatting at imaginary wasps. Still, at least it looked futuristic-y, even if its name was short for "U (will) Force (it into the bin)".
HFC
The best-intentioned of all the controllers on this list, the HFC - or Hands Free Controller - was a bulky vest-like unit designed for people with physical disabilities. Instead of using their hands, players could control games by "puffing and sipping" on a straw for the A and B buttons, and using their chin to control a D-pad.
Never mind all that; what's that dirty boy doing with his hand?
"He doesn't have control over his limbs. What's your excuse?"
Never mind all that; what's that dirty boy doing with his hand?
"He doesn't have control over his limbs. What's your excuse?"
FAMICOIN
These "collectible coins" were designed to slip over the NES joypad's buttons and d-pad, and supposedly reduced finger strain. They also came with some attractive stickers which could be used to customise the "coins" - which no doubt helped them stand out among all your other ill-fated purchases.
DATA RECORDER
Of course, there was no saving your game back in the 80s - so some bright spark released the Data Recorder, which allowed players to record their Famicom/NES game data on cassette tapes. Never released outside of Japan, the Data Recorder was designed to complement the Famicom BASIC Keyboard - which allowed users to create their own programmes.
Also, it could be used to play the latest albums by Midnight Oil and JJ "Fad".
Also, it could be used to play the latest albums by Midnight Oil and JJ "Fad".
POWER PAD
Look: it's the predecessor to Wii Fit, and all those dance mat games. It was originally released by Bandai as a fitness product, but Nintendo later acquired the rights and re-released it as the much more sexily-named Power Pad.
Look at the people on the box; the family are all cheering the daughter's inability to even get onto the mat.
"You can do it, Sheena! Just one more step! It's right in front of you."
"I can't! It's too difficult!"
"We believe in you!"
"Stop trying to make me do things I know I can't do!"
"Stop talking in that whiny voice."
"I hate you!"
"Go to your room."
Look at the people on the box; the family are all cheering the daughter's inability to even get onto the mat.
"You can do it, Sheena! Just one more step! It's right in front of you."
"I can't! It's too difficult!"
"We believe in you!"
"Stop trying to make me do things I know I can't do!"
"Stop talking in that whiny voice."
"I hate you!"
"Go to your room."
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