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10 MOST HORRIFYING VIDEO GAME COSPLAYERS

11/2/2015

6 Comments

 
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We all like a bit of dressing up from time to time, but video game fans seem to take it to another level of "Why?".

Attend any comic, film or video game expo and you'll be fighting for air alongside paunchy, shirtless, thirtysomethings dressed as Hagar from Final Fight, yearning for free hugs from any teenage girl dressed as Sailor Moon. Here are ten cosplaying gamers who we promise will haunt your dreams for weeks to come...

10. ZANGIEF (STREET FIGHTER)
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Part Mr T, part Wonder Woman, this costume would be borderline accurate, were it not for that grotty, apologetic, patch of felt draped across his chest. In a weird way you have to admire his body confidence, but please, sir... please do not cross your legs. Ever.

9. MASTER CHIEF (HALO)
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We're willing to accept that this minimum effort attempt is deliberately awful, but nevertheless... when you consider that this still probably took a couple of hours to put together it raises all manner of issues. Oh, how we wish our life was so empty that we could spend our evenings half-heartedly spray-painting some cardboard boxes green...

8. SAMUS ARAN (METROID)
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This straddles the line between being a decent effort and being an all-out disaster. It's like the wearer gave up halfway through - precisely at the point when it came to painting the gun-arm. There's nothing that sets off a colourful, semi-fitting costume like unpainted cardboard.

7. MEGA MAN
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This actually looks like he took some time over this costume (though in-between trips to the gym - judging from those impressive biceps). Unfortunately, it looks like he's balancing a blue vase on his left arm. You can wipe that self-satisfied look off your face, son. You may have muscles, but you look like an idiot.
 6. KRATOS (GOD OF WAR)
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Oh look - somebody spilled a pot of red paint on Gollum.
5. FLAREON (POKEMON)
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Utterly terrifying. Those dead eyes. The false, toothless smile, that looks like he's sucking on a Werther's Original. You just know it's an evolutionary defence mechanism - the second he's lulled you into petting him he's going to snap open those jaws and gouge into the soft, ill-prepared, flesh of your abdomen.
4. JYNX (POKEMON)
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Frankly, we could fill an entire article with poorly-considered Pokemon cosplay, but we couldn't leave out Jynx. We've covered the wrong-headed, black-face Pokemon before, but never is the sheer lunacy of the design more apparent than when you see it in real life. There's a reason they cancelled The Black and White Minstrel Show, Nintendo...
3. THE PRINCE (KATAMARI DAMACY)
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In some respects, not a bad effort. In other respects, this may be the most depressing image we've ever seen. We picture the blank-faced Prince forlornly rolling his lumpy ball around the empty fringes of a gaming expo, hoping nobody tries to engage him in conversation.
2. BIG DADDY (BIOSHOCK)
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It looks like a Dalek mated with a washing machine, and the resultant offspring murdered a robot dunce.
1. BOWSER (SUPER MARIO FRANCHISE)
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We can't stop imagining this thing scuttling towards us from the corner of our bedroom - gnashing its teeth and drooling, like some feral Mick Hucknall. Holding Back The Years? Ripping off your ears, more like.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
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6 Comments
FEoD link
11/2/2015 03:33:31 am

Like everyone who dresses in costume in public: Potential serial killers, all.

Apart from Zangief, he's cool.

Reply
GigerPunk link
11/2/2015 03:47:07 am

Oh, I dunno, I've seen worse/more disturbing getups than those...
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kuBKJWuWUbM/maxresdefault.jpg

Reply
Simon
11/2/2015 04:15:14 am

In stitches over these pics and the descriptions! 2 and 5 had me having to stifle a laugh at my desk

Reply
Gaijintendo
11/2/2015 08:13:10 am

I recently became aware of the concept of a 'toilet book', a book you pick up and read whilst shitting. Perhaps you should be aggressively pitching Digitiser2000 at that audience.

"Perfect toilet website! *parp*"
-Gaijintendo

Anyway, see you next time.

Reply
Mr Biffo
11/2/2015 11:51:50 am

I think Digi 2000 already speaks for itself as a "toilet website"...

Reply
Biscuitbetty
11/2/2015 09:44:02 am

You absolute fucking bastard, Rose. I'm already stockpiling amphetamines to ward off sleep.

Reply



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