The wifi isn't great out here, but it's just good enough for me to tell you that here are 10 further examples of the worst video and computer game cover artwork ever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to pop back in and see what Robin's up to.
The last time I left him unsupervised for this long he draped spaghetti over my special pillow, placed a smashed lobster in my second-favourite briefcase, and scrunched up my sofa quilt. If he's done anything like that, I swear... this time, I'm going to stab him in the heart.
The title wasn't just cheap titilation, however; at choice moments you had to impregnate hens to ensure a steady flow of eggs into your henhouse - an act illustrated by disappearing through a "love door". Regrettably, the more hens you made sweet love to, the more your energy supplies depleted - thus making it harder to defend the eggs. There's probably some deep metaphor for life somewhere in there.
Frankly, we'd be slightly more interested in seeing a game where a couple of New Romantics try and run a battery farm.
We're not sure what we find more disgusting - that nose moustache, the marbles shoved up the nostrils, or that unpleasant purple smear on his philtrum. Literally nausea-inducing.
Except it wasn't a busted telescope at all: it was the wrong end of a penguin's busted digestive system.
A horrible, horrible, side-scrolling shooter, Trevor McFur's garish, cut-and-paste cover artwork actually does a fairly accurate job of telling you what you're in for (unless you've misinterpreted, and expect to be in for some serious anthropomorphised feline spooning).
Still, he's bending forwards. That's going to make it easier to kick him in the lips.
It's hard to choose our favourite element. Do we go for the expression of the guy in the bottom right, eyes rolled back into their sockets and all as he wields that wholly impractical weapon... or that misshapen grinning, gap-toothed head thing up there at the top, next to the penis buildings?
FROM THE ARCHIVE: