10 KIDS TOYS THAT ARE FIT FOR THE QUEEN

The Majesty that is Mrs Queen Elizabeth 2.0 is 90 years young today!

Happy birthday, ma'a'a'a'a'mmmm!

​Everyone here at Digitiser2000 hopes it's your best birthday thus far. Here's to another 90 years of your golden reign!

​We'd like to make our own special contribution to the celebrations by suggesting a number of birthday gifts that are literally fit for a queen!

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10. The whole world knows how much you love dogs - so how about this beautiful hound? If you squint slightly, it might even smell like a corgi.

9. Bang! Bang! Those noises are among your favourite sounds... specifically, the sounds of an animal being shot to death for fun. So why not ask your family for a special gun for your birthday? You could get one like this:

8. Woof woof woof! This toy doggie even comes with a model of your favourite daughter-in-law, Princess Lattice.

7. Of course, there's every likelihood that you're The Woman Who Has Everything - given your fortune is estimated in the region of £340 million. In which case, might we suggest a simple fireworks display?

6. Alternatively, how about you get something that you can enjoy with your grandchildren and great-grandchildren - George, Charlotte, Tarquin, Arlington-Cemetary, Ponsonby and Biggles? Kids love video games - and this toy is based upon one of the most popular games around!

5. This isn't a toy. It's just a yellow bum. Sorry, Your Majesty.

4. Perhaps you'd like a lovely dolly? We're sure you can get one of your servants to clean up after it has gone boom-boom.

3. Or how about a right royal pig? You could pretend it's one of your less successful prime ministers.

2. This dolly comes with a bath of lizard slime. You know all about that don't you, Your Majesty? DON'T YOU, YOUR MAJESTY?

1. Lastly, how about a real puppy? As we see here, they're the gift that just keeps on giving!

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
18 BIZARRE BOOTLEG TOYS
12 BIZARRE TOYS THAT WOULDN'T BE MADE TODAY
13 OF THE MOST BAFFLING ACTION FIGURES EVER