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10 JAW-DROPPING CLASSIC ARCADE CABINETS

23/7/2018

16 Comments

 
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When an arcade machine isn't being played by anybody, it typically switches into something called "Attract mode". It's exactly what it sounds like: the game attempts to attract passers-by into playing it. Usually, this would include the game playing itself, displaying high scores, cut-scenes, or - in certain instances - exhorting players not to "do" drugs.

Some games machines, however, take this attempt to attract players to another level of ridiculousness - and are housed in hardware which is in itself an attraction. Indeed, it's probably fair to say, that most modern arcades are entirely full of machines of this ilk, like being at an entertainment industry party where everybody is trying to be noticed.

​Maybe somebody should tell them not to do drugs!!!!!! 

Here are ten arcade games which took their cabinets to the absurd heights of peacockery, ensuring that players had to have a go, regardless of whether the game itself was any good or not. 
TX-1
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A sort of third instalment in Atari's well established Pole Position series, 1983's TX-1 was quantifiably three times better than either of its two predecessors. How so? It had no fewer than three screens - giving players a sort of panoramic view from the cockpit of their racing car.

Multiple monitors wasn't the only TX-1 innovation: it was also the first arcade racing game to feature force feedback, via a vibrating steering wheel, and branching gameplay. At each checkpoint, the player was confronted with a choice of paths. You know: like when you're up the woods. 

I was so inspired by TX-1 that I later stole its display when I was working as a graphic designer for Ladbrokes Racing. I created a similar Formula 1 animation sequence to run in Ladbrokes betting shops, but get this - mine ran over six screens. Thus: it was six times better than anything Atari ever did.
SPACE HARRIER
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One of the most iconic arcade games of all time, with or without its fancy sit-down cabinet (its digitised speech alone made us all go "Wha... wha... whaaaaaa?!") it was nevertheless in the latter configuration that Yu Suzuki's Space Harrier turned heads so fast that it was responsible for a pandemic of "cricked necks".

With a visual style inspired by the movie The NeverEnding story (running time: 94 minutes) and the prog rock album covers of Roger Dean, the motorised cockpit-style cabinet responded to the player's joystick movements. Sega had been initially hesitant to commit to a machine with such high production costs, but a cocksure Suzuki reportedly offered his own salary by way of compensation, were it to fail.

It did not fail. 

Also... ha ha: "cocksure".
FIRE TRUCK
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Way back in 1978, Atari straddled the arcades like a lewd oligarch, though one of its lesser-known, less successful, releases nevertheless remains one of the more remarkable.

Fire Truck was probably the first video game ever to feature co-operative gameplay, as two players - one lurking behind the other - controlled the steering, respectively, for the front and rear portions of a fire engine.

I've no idea whether this is how a real fire truck is controlled - frankly, I can't be bothered to find out - but it scarcely matters, given that Fire Truck didn't exactly (ha ha) set arcades on fire. Here's a thought: had it done better, they could've released a sequel called Pantomime Horse, and a six-player game called One Of Those Chinese New Year Dragons They Have.
TIME TRAVELER
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Billed as the world's first holographic video game, Sega's Time Traveler was nothing of the sort, of course. It was a laserdisc adventure, designed by Dragon's Lair creator Rick Dyer, and though it appeared superficially to be a sort of live action beat 'em up, it played very much like - yes - Dragon's Lair.

Nevertheless, the optical illusion - its black backgrounded video footage was reflected onto a curved mirror - was damned impressive, and certainly made it look like a hologram, a bit. Time Traveler wasn't built for longevity, however.

​Apparently, if a player was able to make it through to the pant-tighteningly hard choices without dying, it would only take them about ten minutes in total to reach the end. 
AFTER BURNER
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Another Yu Suzuki classic, like Space Harrier, After Burner featured several cabinets, the most unique and impressive of which boasted a horizontally rotating seat, and a vertically rotating cockpit. Yes: with all the attendant nausea that implies. 

Notably, this deluxe cabinet featured prominently in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, foreshadowing John Connor's future as an heroic warrior, while the T-1000 searched an arcade for him, like a disappointed parent.
HANG-ON
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Prior to both Space Harrier and After Burner, Yu Suzuki had major arcade success with the motorcycle racer Hang-On.

As well as two more mundane cabinets, the deluxe version boasted one of the first ever motion control systems, with players mounting a replica motorbike, and steering by tilting their bodies left and right - viewing the action via a monitor built into the windshield. 

This is the closest I've ever come to riding a motorbike, though I have been on a Segway, and did once have a go on my brother-in-law's moped. I attempted to ride it down the length of my parents' garden, but took off at such speed that I wasn't able to apply the brakes before crashing into the shed. I was catapulted off the seat, and landed on the crossbar, hurting my testicles. 

Apparently, it was really funny, and nobody cared that I was crying. 
DISCS OF TRON
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A contender for Most Beautiful Arcade Cabinet Ever, the frisbee-lobbing Discs of Tron was housed in a gorgeous, upright, cabinet featuring authentic artwork from the film, and stunning backlighting effects.

I remember finding one on a day trip to Calais with my parents, stuffed away at the back of a little arcade, and being blown away by how mysterious it looked. The game itself wasn't all that, but the cabinet... man alive, that was some sweeeeeeet hardware.

Interestingly, that was one of several day trips my parents and I took with some friends of their called Jo and Tony. On another we took the train to York, and my father blocked the toilet with a massive poo. Some boys found this hilarious, and kept returning to look at it - "Urrrgh! It's huge!" - until my furious and embarrassed mother told him to go and "break it up" so that it would flush.

He did as he was told, and for years I've wondered  whether he used his foot or something else.
RIDGE RACER FULL SCALE
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"The soul of virtual reality appeared finally!"

I didn't learn to drive until I was 30-ish. The closest I got to it prior to that was playing Ridge Racer Full Scale - a super-deluxe version of Namco's Ridge Racer, which you played by sitting inside a real Mazda MX5, in front of a massive front-projected screen. Even starting the game required you to turn an ignition key, and braking was done using - yes - the actual brakes. 

I can't have been the only person to play Ridge Racer Full Scale while screaming "I'm a big boy!" at the top of my lungs. 
R360
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Used for a number of different games, including G-LOC, Galaxy Force, and Power Drift, Sega's R360 hardware built upon technology utilised in After Burner and Space Harrier. Getting into it was more like sitting down in a roller coaster than an arcade machine - with a harness that held players in place, as the machine turned completely upside down.

There were a number of safety features included, such as an emergency stop button, pressure sensitive mats which triggered an alarm if anybody got too close to the gyrating machine, and a plexiglass safety barrier. Typically, the machine would have an attendant supervising at all times, to ensure nobody, y'know, died.

Not included: vomit bags.
GALAXIAN 3
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A long way from the original Galaxian, the enormous Galaxian 3 was more amusement park attraction than arcade game. Far too big and expensive for most arcades, it was only a moderate hit for the company - a failed bid to fight back against increasingly arcade-quality home consoles.

Up to six players could compete simultaneously on the shooting gallery-style game, firing at enemies superimposed on a pre-rendered backdrop, running from a pair of laserdiscs. The entire thing sat on an hydraulic platform which vibrated the floor in synch with the on-screen action, and featured a pneumatic arm which would occasional pop out and slide a hot cone into the players' mouths

The Theatre 6 hardware - as it was known - was reconfigured for a follow-up, the less well-remembered Attack of the Zolgear, whatever that was. 
16 Comments
Voodoo76
23/7/2018 09:54:10 am

I don't know, you tell me if the rival is DIGDUG!

Reply
Grembot
23/7/2018 10:12:29 am

Last year I played the Luigi’s Mansion arcade on holiday, it let you get quite far before it resorted to the money making difficultly setting. I probably wouldn’t have spent a lot more on After Burner if it had been easier, I probably would have spent more money on After Burner if it just let you fly around a bit...basically I just wanted a go in the cabinet.

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Treacle
23/7/2018 10:26:15 am

The train toilet poo smashing would make for an excellent arcade cabinet.

Reply
THX 1139
23/7/2018 12:06:46 pm

Wasn't the original Star Wars game in a cabinet? With quotes from the film like "Use the Force, Luke!" and "Darth, you wally!" (off the 80s).

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Kendall9000
24/7/2018 08:29:50 am

I've got fond childhood memories of sitting in one of those and repeatedly failing to use the force. I don't think I ever managed to blow up the bloody Death Star.

There's a cabinet still sitting in one of the seaside amusement arcades in Rhyl. Unfortunately it's not plugged in - I think those dark and dingy "amusements" are just kept open to launder drug money these days.

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Floop
23/7/2018 12:23:44 pm

There was a starblade game at the old namco wonderpark in great windmill street that was pretty spectacular, it was a six player jobby like the galaxian machine

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Adam
23/7/2018 03:42:00 pm

Galaxian 3 remains one of the worst games i've ever 'played'. It was impossible to know what was going on.

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Sean McErlean
23/7/2018 05:44:39 pm

I read "Atari straddled the arcades like a lewd ostrich" rather than "oligarch". I feel this version is a mild improvement on the original.

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Nick
23/7/2018 08:31:25 pm

Read Only Memory has a nice looking Kickstarter at the moment recreating some of these in one of those fancy pop up books that are all the rage amongst the fashionable swinging set.

Skeggy had one of those full size Ridge Racer. If I remember correctly they wanted £6 a go! The bloody PS game was only £20. Thieving gits.

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Rivalry
24/7/2018 09:18:11 am

You should've had a go on DIGDUG instead. That is the rival!?

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Robobob
23/7/2018 09:29:12 pm

Always wanted a shot of G-LOC in the 360 thing. Never got one.

Other than puking on myself (in all probability), did I miss much, or was it actually as cool as it looked?

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Chris Dyson
23/7/2018 10:00:53 pm

He probably got some toilet paper in his hand and then pushed his hand into the poo to break it up. That's what I usually do when my son blocks the upstairs bogs with one of his poos. Of course I do get poo on my fingers every now and then and it's completely disgusting but it's the most effective method. Kids, eh?

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Jon link
23/7/2018 11:37:56 pm

I'd have played a lot more of these games if they weren't so stupidly hard: £1 30 years ago for 1 minute of gameplay was a bit much.

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James Walker link
23/7/2018 11:51:00 pm

That story with the scooter and the testicles made be do a big LOL!!!!11!!!1!

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Starbuck
24/7/2018 11:08:21 pm

Also, "At each checkpoint, the player was confronted with a choice of paths. You know: like when you're up the woods.". !.

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Marro
29/7/2018 02:10:24 am

The Discs Of Tron cabinet is a work of art and should be installed in Tate Modern.
I was a rabid Tron fan as a kid (when this was not a cool thing but a thing that could get you a hiding) and I was unaware there was a second Tron coin-op until I found a Discs Of Tron sit-in cabinet in a deserted back alley arcade, similar to your experience but in the slightly less exotic locale of Dundee.
I quite like the game - it was better than the more ubiquitous Tron coin-op and had a nice shallow difficulty curve so you got a lot of game for your 20p.

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