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10 ITEMS OF MR T MERCHANDISE THAT ARE FIT FOR THE BIN

28/9/2016

11 Comments

 
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Mr T is everybody's favourite tough guy, even if these days he's mostly remembered for that BBC Three show he did, and the Snickers advert. Back in the 80s, Mr T was everywhere. In the wake of his starring role in The A Team, he had his own cartoon series, released a record, and was featured on more merchandise than you could jangle a neck-full of jewellery at. Here's JUST the tip OF the ICEBERG. 
REMOTE CONTROL CAR
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A remote-control car is among the more obvious items of Mr T merchandise, though what really makes this product stand out is the image on the packaging. Mr T is hogging the remote control, or has just snatched it out of somebody's hand, as if to say "It's mine! My remote control!" 

Notably, there are Mr T stickers on the windscreen and side window, perhaps in a bid to deter car thieves lured in by the image on the rear window of Mr T's gold.

Perhaps a "No jewellery is stored in this vehicle overnight" sign would have sufficed?
SUPER TEENY BOUNCERS
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"Super Teeny Bouncers" sounds more like the name of an early Channel 4 show, which would ultimately be taken off air following criticism of its overtly sexualised content. Of course, there's nothing sexualised about these Mr T high bounce balls - they're just "unbelievably bouncy".

​Show your love for Mr T by bouncing them as high as possible, or throwing them at a Mexican drug lord. Also... is that a kitten on Mr T's shoulder? Yes. Yes it is. And look: there's another one in the "crook of his arm".
TALKING MR T
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Now you too can have a conversation with Mr T about Rupert Murdoch, and the dangerous media monopoly held by News Corp. Comes in a "Beautifully windowed box".
ACTION FIGURE
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The Mr T action figure can be posed in at least three stances: running on the spot, doing the cha-cha, and sitting. Dress him in camouflage fatigues and he's ready to do a "combat attack". While sitting. Once again, this comes in a "beautifully windowed" box.
JEWELRY SET
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A somewhat sorry collection of jewellery, which may include an "I.D. pendant", yet is scarcely fit to kiss the ring of Mr T.  Also: there are those kittens again! Does he even know they're there? Mr T, you're attracting vermin!
WATER WAR
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"Hit Mr T and the other side gets wet". No - it isn't what you think: it's merely a game wherein a wet sponge thrown at the back of Mr T's head will cause him to spit at your friends. Just like in real life! No wonder he looks so unhappy. What a life.
MIGHTY CAR
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Clearly not an officially licensed product, it is nevertheless not difficult to imagine the real Mr T driving around in the tiny Mighty Car, with its lights flashing and siren blaring, as he brandishes an axe and an AK-47 out of the windows. What's more: "Mighty driver moving up and down automatically". Just like in real life!
ONE MEAN ERASER
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Sadly, the Mr T One Mean Eraser has rendered Mr T as he might look after suffering third degree burns to his face.
CHIA MR T
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The death mask-like Chia Mr T allows you to grow seeds in Mr T's head. Mr T's desperate look on the packaging suggests he's in as much pain as you would imagine. "I pity the fool who drills a hole in my skull and puts chia seeds in it".
CHEWABLE CHAIN
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What child has looked at Mr T and not imagined what it would be like to chew on his jewellery? The Mr T Gold Chain Bubble Gum can help you realise this dream... while also giving you the opportunity to get a "gold-coloured chain" of your own. 
FROM THE ARCHIVE: 
MR T'S PROBLEM PAGE: INTERNET ADVICE
​
CELEBRITY BIN FACTS - WITH MR T
MR T'S PROBLEM PAGE - HEALTH & WELL-BEING
11 Comments
Dagenham Swish
28/9/2016 10:01:32 am

For years I thought your Mr T image had massive yellow lips and thought it seriously rather risque. Only in the last couple of years have I realised that they are in actual fact his flowing, golden chains of pain.

I think this probably says more about my younger self than it does you.

I need more coffee.

Reply
Mrtankthreat
28/9/2016 07:29:43 pm

I thought that right up until reading this.

Reply
Chris Wyatt
28/9/2016 09:41:59 pm

I think I may have thought the same thing when I first saw Mr. T on Digi. I was very young at the time and I can't remember if it was before or after I watched the A-Team repeats on TV?

I thought the same thing with Mr. Frosty in Kirby's Pinball Land. I thought that it was a floating head rather than a body.

I'm sure a lot of people thought the same. Don't you worry. Maybe the Channel 4 executives also thought it was a racist caricature. Ha!

Reply
Ben
28/9/2016 12:12:37 pm

wow, I just had a weird deja vu...I think I may have owned that Mr T action figure as a tender yoot way back in the golden eighties and had entirely forgotten about it until now. Those were the days.

Reply
Chris
28/9/2016 12:39:35 pm

I had a Mr T card game. I'd forgotten about that until now. I think it was this one: https://www.boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/134863/mr-t-card-game

Reply
RG
28/9/2016 03:55:51 pm

I had a Mr T calculator at primary school. I can find no evidence that such a thing ever existed...

Reply
Kelvin Green link
28/9/2016 09:24:19 pm

Did you know the French A-Team theme tune had lyrics? I only got a C in French GCSE so I don't know if said lyrics mentioned "le bins".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm95j3iNXNk

Reply
Chris Wyatt
28/9/2016 09:43:34 pm

I have a Mr. T in Your Pocket knocking around somewhere. :)

Reply
MD Cribuffs
29/9/2016 08:51:37 pm

Chris, Quit your jibber-jabber!

Reply
Chris Wyatt
29/9/2016 09:00:48 pm

Shut up fool

Hamptonoid
30/9/2016 10:18:52 pm

Don't make me mad, grrrrr.

Reply



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