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10 INTERESTING CONSOLE MODS

28/2/2015

7 Comments

 
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Being the sort of people who take no pride in their environment - literally, we live in a cave littered with empty crisp packets and rusting Red Bull cans, and a half-eaten dead goose - we've never understood anyone who spends their weekends tarting up, say, their garden shed to look like a 1950s diner, or sticking neon underlights to their car chassis.

Similarly, we just don't get anyone who would bother modifying their consoles to look like other things. Nonetheless, we retain a degree of admiration for anyone with that level of pointless dedication, and thus... here are ten console mods that caught our eye. Oh, you!

10. HALO XBOX 360
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As impractical as it is wholly unappealing on an aesthetic level, this Xbox 360 is exactly what it looks like: some toys stuck on the top of a console. Evidently, the textured spray-painting has resulted in clogging the notoriously noisy 360 fan, which has resulted in having to add a new one to the top. 

This implies that this is a machine that will continue to be in regular use, despite looking like a ten year-old's horrible birthday cake. Let us take a moment to wonder how it sounds while in use... 

...VVVVVWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH!
9. NES IN AN NES CART
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We do sort of like this one, but given that the only valid reason to play an NES these days would be  for purely nostalgic reasons, it seems a bit strange to take the games away from the TV. Cramming the guts of the system into an NES cart is clever on a technical level - but our palms hurt just thinking about how painful that must be to play. 

Nice showing off, nerd. Now let's see you try and get a girlfriend. 
8. STEAMPUNK PS3
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Steampunk is ubiquitous now, but this just looks like the boiler we had when we moved house last year - the one that had to be turned off ten or twelve times before it would heat your hot water, and then you could only heat the water at the same time as having the heating on which was a nightmare in summer, and then all the condensation in the ventilation flue dripped back down into the boiler housing, and ran onto our Dyson handheld (which was on a shelf underneath), and broke that too.

Now we've got that British Gas Hive thing, which is controlled from an app on our phone, and it's awesome, and almost like a video game in itself, and... What were we talking about again? We suppose we could go back to the start and find out, but... y'know... let's just press on.
7. DISCO GAMECUBE
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This looks like something you'd find hanging from the ceiling in Studio 54, whatever that is. It's kind of cool and all, but those lights obviously have a bit of a trade-off, given the two massive neon fans on each side of the machine. 

Given that the Gamecube was already a compact purple beauty (hell-oh!), we're not sure this is any sort of improvement. Unless you're the sort of person who is easily impressed by bright lights. And when we say "person" we mean "dribbling idiot".
6. PUMPKINTRIS
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Not a console mod, but a pumpkin that's been tampered with so that it plays a functioning version of Tetris, apparently. We suppose it's one way to try and improve the awfulness of Halloween, but it's not for us: a Tetris pumpkin is only going to lure more trick or treaters to your door, and then they're going to be encouraged to hang around for even longer while they play the game.

Instead of carving a pumpkin, try this instead: carve "666" into your chest and stand naked in your front garden, shivering and chattering as you defecate onto a sundial. See how many trick or treaters you get then. 
5. NINTENDO SHOE SYSTEM
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It's an NES again - this time crammed into a Nike trainer, because there wasn't enough corporate branding already on the NES. The Illuminati would be proud.
4. JOKER 360
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This is just horrible. Horrible. Imagine if that was really happening: that Heath Ledger died, and was reborn inside your 360, like its some plastic-y amniotic sac, and he pushed his face through the side of the console, and he had the full Joker make-up on still, and he flopped out onto your carpet in an eruption of fluid, and then got to his feet and started running around your living room. Imagine that. Imagine it. 

That's what we're imagining right now, and it makes us SICK.
3. NES COFFEE TABLE
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Short of sticking metal spikes and running an electric charge through it, it's difficult to know how to make the NES controller even more impractical and uncomfortable. So hats off to whomever invented this fully functioning NES coffee table controller. Apparently, there's space inside to store the console, games, and additional controllers. Or thousands of live worms.
2. HEMP WII CONTROLLERS
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You know that film Castaway, where a lonely, shipwrecked Tom Hanks makes himself a spherical lover out of a basketball (he must've been desperate, because Wilson wasn't even that good looking anyway)? 

Well, we'd have had even more respect for him if he'd tried to weave himself a Wii out of hemp - as per these working Wiimotes. Where Hanks would've gotten the games from we dunno, but we guess he could've also woven himself some wifi or something, and downloaded them from the Nintendo eShop. Hey - he could've even made himself a Mii Wilson, and called him "Wii-lson". 
1. RAINBOW SIX PS3
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This Rainbow Six-themed PS3 mod is so horrible as to be genius. Who in their right mind likes Rainbow Six enough to go to all the effort of transforming their console into a miniature Las Vegas? Is it really the sort of franchise that breeds that sort of passion? We had no idea. Next someone will be dressing their Xbox One up in a hoody and writing "Watch Dogs" on the front. 

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
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7 Comments
GigerPunk link
27/2/2015 04:42:06 am

Mmmmm, those wii remotes are going to look *lovely* after they've been used a few times and absorbed all the sweat and grime from peoples' hands...

Reply
Chris link
27/2/2015 05:59:40 am

I would have called the Nintendo Shoe System the Nintendo Entertainment Shoe. But that's just me.

Reply
GigerPunk link
27/2/2015 06:19:05 am

The Nintenshoe, maybe? What'd be nice is if it enabled trainers in any game you plugged into it. Might at least make some sense then.

Reply
CheekyBudgie
27/2/2015 10:06:57 am

Or the Nike-endo Entertainment System?

required
28/2/2015 04:32:56 pm

Presumably it was designed by Shoe-guru Miya-more-toe.

A HAHAHAHAHA!

Reply
Simon
27/2/2015 07:22:59 am

Is it wrong I want just about everything off that list......

Reply
mitz
27/2/2015 11:28:05 am

i'd quite like the coffee table if only to pretend i was a really tiny person

Reply



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