What is the thing that sailors are most known for? That's right: it's laughing hysterically when you give them money. Nowadays, if you want to see a sailor laughing hysterically all you have to do is head to YouTube, but once upon a time the only way to hear the manic cackling of a seaman would be to sign up for the Navy yourself, unless you fancied hanging around by the docks.
In the 1950s this all changed. New technology brought the spectacle of the amused mariner to seaside arcades; for a penny or two, you would be treated to a several moments of mirth-filled howling from a mechanical seafarer.
This might all seem rather quaint, but I'm old enough to recall seeing these coin-operated marvels, and their rasping, foam-flecked, guffaws, remain etched into my memory. Today, for one day only, Digitiser2000 pays tribute to this terrifying staple of summer holidays...
In the 1950s this all changed. New technology brought the spectacle of the amused mariner to seaside arcades; for a penny or two, you would be treated to a several moments of mirth-filled howling from a mechanical seafarer.
This might all seem rather quaint, but I'm old enough to recall seeing these coin-operated marvels, and their rasping, foam-flecked, guffaws, remain etched into my memory. Today, for one day only, Digitiser2000 pays tribute to this terrifying staple of summer holidays...
HA HA HA! WHAT CHILD WOULDN'T THINK THIS IS WORTH 20p OF THEIR POCKET MONEY AND... HANG ON... WHAT'S THAT STUFF IN HIS HAIR???
HEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEEE! THIS FELLOW IS SO VERY WHIMSICAL THAT.... WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S THAT BROWN STAIN IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND?!
CAK-CAK-CAK-CAK-ACK! YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE THIS CHAP LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY WHILE LAUNCHING TORPEDOES AT ENEMY VESSELS! HIS MIND IS BROKEN. HE HAS SEEN TOO MANY OF HIS FELLOWS DIE...
HO HO HO HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOO.... HE'S WEARING LIPSTICK?! IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED IN THE NAVY?! WHAT HAPPENS AT SEA STAYS AT SEA, I GUESS...
TEE-HEEEEEE! RED NOSE AND CHEEKS... UNFOCUSED EYES... SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HITTING THE REGULATION RUM A BIT HARD! STILL... WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH YOUR SHIFT, WHEN YOU'VE SEEN SO MANY CREWMATES BLOWN TO PIECES.
CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAK-CHAK! THIS PORTLY CHAP LOOKS AS IF HE'S EATEN HIS WAY THROUGH HIS SHIP'S STORE OF HARDTACK BISCUITS. AND WHAT'S WITH THE CUPPED HANDS? HE'S DOING AN IMPRESSION OF A SLOTH!
TING-TING-TING-TING-TEEEEEEEP! THIS SAILORBOY DOESN'T REALISE HE'S SAT RIGHT BELOW A TRAP - POTENTIALLY SET BY THE FAMOUS SOUTHSEA CANNIBALS.
PLIP-PLI-PLI-PLI-PLINT! LOOK: HIS REAL EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES WERE BURNT OFF BY AN ENEMY PHOSPHOR ATTACK.
CALA-CALA-CALA-CALLLLOOOO! THIS GUY IS A WINNER... OF THE NO-BOTTOM-TEETH AWARD!
K-WANG-K-WANG-A-SSSSSSSSSSRRRRRRRRTH! GOODBYE, SAILORS!
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