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10 HILARIOUS LAUGHING SAILOR VINTAGE COIN-OPS!

22/11/2017

6 Comments

 
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What is the thing that sailors are most known for? That's right: it's laughing hysterically when you give them money. Nowadays, if you want to see a sailor laughing hysterically all you have to do is head to YouTube, but once upon a time the only way to hear the manic cackling of a seaman would be to sign up for the Navy yourself, unless you fancied hanging around by the docks.

In the 1950s this all changed. New technology brought the spectacle of the amused mariner to seaside arcades; for a penny or two, you would be treated to a several moments of mirth-filled howling from a mechanical seafarer. 

This might all seem rather quaint, but I'm old enough to recall seeing these coin-operated marvels, and their rasping, foam-flecked, guffaws, remain etched into my memory. Today, for one day only, Digitiser2000 pays tribute to this terrifying staple of summer holidays...
HA HA HA! WHAT CHILD WOULDN'T THINK THIS IS WORTH 20p OF THEIR POCKET MONEY AND... HANG ON... WHAT'S THAT STUFF IN HIS HAIR???
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HEEE HEEE HEEEEEEEEEEE! THIS FELLOW IS SO VERY WHIMSICAL THAT.... WAIT A MINUTE... WHAT'S THAT BROWN STAIN IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND?!
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CAK-CAK-CAK-CAK-ACK! YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE THIS CHAP LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY WHILE LAUNCHING TORPEDOES AT ENEMY VESSELS! HIS MIND IS BROKEN. HE HAS SEEN TOO MANY OF HIS FELLOWS DIE...
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HO HO HO HO HO HOOOOOOOOOOO.... HE'S WEARING LIPSTICK?! IS THAT EVEN ALLOWED IN THE NAVY?! WHAT HAPPENS AT SEA STAYS AT SEA, I GUESS...
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TEE-HEEEEEE! RED NOSE AND CHEEKS... UNFOCUSED EYES... SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HITTING THE REGULATION RUM A BIT HARD! STILL... WHATEVER GETS YOU THROUGH YOUR SHIFT, WHEN YOU'VE SEEN SO MANY CREWMATES BLOWN TO PIECES.
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CHAKA-CHAKA-CHAK-CHAK! THIS PORTLY CHAP LOOKS AS IF HE'S EATEN HIS WAY THROUGH HIS SHIP'S STORE OF HARDTACK BISCUITS. AND WHAT'S WITH THE CUPPED HANDS? HE'S DOING AN IMPRESSION OF A SLOTH!
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TING-TING-TING-TING-TEEEEEEEP! THIS SAILORBOY DOESN'T REALISE HE'S SAT RIGHT BELOW A TRAP - POTENTIALLY SET BY THE FAMOUS SOUTHSEA CANNIBALS.
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PLIP-PLI-PLI-PLI-PLINT! LOOK: HIS REAL EYEBROWS AND EYELASHES WERE BURNT OFF BY AN ENEMY PHOSPHOR ATTACK.
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CALA-CALA-CALA-CALLLLOOOO! THIS GUY IS A WINNER... OF THE NO-BOTTOM-TEETH AWARD!
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K-WANG-K-WANG-A-SSSSSSSSSSRRRRRRRRTH! GOODBYE, SAILORS!
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6 Comments
Stephen Reed
22/11/2017 09:51:14 am

This brought some much needed mirth (and fear) to my Wednesday morning!

Reply
Biscuits
22/11/2017 09:58:29 am

They had a few of these in the seaside town where I grew up. For the same price you could watch a rapidly disintegrating caged nautical dwarf have a little chuckle and a sway about, or you could look at a parrot light up and raise it's wings and give you a plastic egg with an actual toy in it. No contest, back to the poop deck sailor boys.

Reply
Plop
22/11/2017 10:26:24 am

Ah Cleethorpes Amusement arcade!
My Uncle regularly told me that the guy who was recorded doing the laugh went mad and ended up in an Asylum. Urban legend or not, it didn’t make them any more appealing. I think there was a laughing policeman too.

Reply
Jareth Smith
22/11/2017 01:47:01 pm

Terrifying, all of them. Well... image #1. He looks quite jolly.

Reply
Paul Morris
22/11/2017 03:17:53 pm

I think the first one in the list so sailor number 2 has a look of Mr Biffo

Reply
Nikki
22/11/2017 05:44:40 pm

What was the point of these hideous things?

What was the point?

WHAT WAS THE POINT?

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE POINT OF THEM WAS AND THEY DISTRESS ME NEEDLESSLY.

Who thought they would be a good idea? WHO?

WHO??

Reply



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