Hello, everyone. I'm Donkey Kong - a type of monkey. You've probably all heard the story of how I got my funny name. That's right: a wayward itinerant wrote it down on the back of a seed packet, and shoved it up a Papal cranny.
You may also have heard that the new Mad Max game features an antagonist called Scrotus (surname: "Scrotum"). However, Mr Scrotum is far from the only example of terrible video game naming. Just smudge your eyeballs across these further examples will you?
You may also have heard that the new Mad Max game features an antagonist called Scrotus (surname: "Scrotum"). However, Mr Scrotum is far from the only example of terrible video game naming. Just smudge your eyeballs across these further examples will you?
10. THAT MAN (Guilty Gear)
Given that he's the main antagonist of the Guilty Gear franchise, you'd think they'd have gotten around to replacing That Man's placeholder name before releasing the games. But no. They just left it there. Video games are weird.
9. AFRO THUNDER (Ready 2 Rumble)
A man named after his hair. That might not be racist - not being racists ourselves we're no experts on the subject, sadly - but it certainly feels at least a bit racist.
8. LADY (Devil May Cry)
Although not her birth name, Lady renamed herself "Lady" after turning her back on her past, according to something we just read. Sorry to make this a bit of a display of our ignorance regarding what is and isn't politically correct these days, but is calling a lady "a lady" considered sexist now?
Then again, it seems a bit odd debating the relative sexism of a character's name, when she's wearing a micro miniskirt made out of ammunition pouches (though for all we know, she uses them to store her make-up and the phone numbers of pretty boys).
Then again, it seems a bit odd debating the relative sexism of a character's name, when she's wearing a micro miniskirt made out of ammunition pouches (though for all we know, she uses them to store her make-up and the phone numbers of pretty boys).
7. DASH RENDAR (Shadows of the Empire)
One of the main influences on the original Star Wars saga was Flash Gordon. We can't be bothered to check whether George Lucas came up with the name Dash Rendar - evidently intended as a Flash Gordon tribute - but it feels like the sort of half-considered nonsense he'd suggest, followed by all of his employees applauding his genius.
Let us not forget that this is the man who named an Attack of the Clones drug-dealer Elan Sleazebaggano, gives his villains titles like Maul, Vader and Sidious, and cast a former Count Dracula actor as a character called Count Dooku.
Let us not forget that this is the man who named an Attack of the Clones drug-dealer Elan Sleazebaggano, gives his villains titles like Maul, Vader and Sidious, and cast a former Count Dracula actor as a character called Count Dooku.
6. SOLID SNAKE (Metal Gear)
The Metal Gear series is a veritable cornucopia of absurd names. There's Gustava Heffner, Revolver Ocelot, Decoy Octopus, Liquid Snake, Para-Medic - to name but a few. Solid Snake has become so iconic, we tend to forget just how suggestive his name actually is. Talking of...
5. SEAMAN (Seaman)
Because Seaman sounds like somewhat "semen" (Google it, if you don't know what that is).
4. DINGO EGRET (Zone of the Enders)
Zone of the Enders is another font of stupid names. Dino Egret is just the tip of an iceberg that also includes Philbright Westriverside Warehouserock XXVI, Ridley Hardiman, Radium Lavans, Dezeele Zephyrs, Lance Jimmer, Baan Dorfloum, and Melinda Gargoyle.
3. M.BISON (Street Fighter)
Street Fighter II was going to have a boxer character who looked a bit like the boxer Mike Tyson. To try and get around this they renamed him M.Tyson. Which then got changed to M.Bison. And then outside of Japan they gave the name to another character altogether, who looked nothing like Mike Tyson, and wore a cape, and shoulder pads, and a peaked cap.
2. MASTER HIGGINS (Adventure Island)
Yes - that skateboarding boy in the Adventure Island franchise, who wears the baseball cap and pants made out of foliage, has a name. And that name is, inexplicably, Master Higgins.
1. SOAP MACTAVISH (Call of Duty)
Presumably, "Soap" is a nickname - albeit one that is never explained in the Call of Duty games, given the cypher-like nature of characters in the series. Perhaps he used to use fruity language, until his mother washed his mouth with soap. Or perhaps he's very clean. Or very dirty, and the Soap nickname is ironic. Or maybe he really likes soap operas. Or maybe he's got part of a bar of soap wedged up his colon. There's simply no way to know.
He is very handsome though. Mmmmm. He can Soap us up any day...
He is very handsome though. Mmmmm. He can Soap us up any day...
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