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10 CODS THAT AREN'T CALL OF DUTY

3/11/2015

4 Comments

 
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The latest Call of Duty game, Black Ops 3, is out this week. It's probably the sort of thing you'd like: all macho shooting and that in a future war setting, and some bits with zombies and stuff.

While it would be wonderful to bring you a feature called '10 Things You Didn't Know About Call of Duty', that sounds like it would require some degree of research.

​Instead, we have prepared for you the following: 10 Cods That Aren't CoD.

10. A COD
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Apart from Call of Duty, the fish called cod is the most famous "cod" in the world. What do we know about cods? We know they taste real nice when deep fried and served with chippies, although if he read this Jamie Oliver would probably have a go at you about the dangers of over-fishing, and tell everyone to eat some disgusting molluscs instead. Fine talk coming from someone who looks like a werepig.
9. YELLOWSTONE REGIONAL AIRPORT (COD)
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Apparently, Yellowstone Regional Airport is another sort of COD that isn't CoD - for its airport code is comprised of the letters COD. We don't why. Surely YRA would make more sense? Unless the owners of the airport are real big fans of the CoD franchise... although that would seem unlikely given that the CoD series once promoted airport massacres as a form of popular entertainment.
8. CAUSE OF DEATH
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Cause of Death is something that gets written on death certificates, probably, and can be abbreviated to 'COD'. Out of all the other cods in the world, it probably has the most to do with CoD, because the Call of Duty franchise is rife with different causes of death - including being shot or blown-up or bitten by bad dogs. Some of the potential causes of death available in the real world include "falling off a ladder", "choking to death on a chrysalis", and "smothering oneself with a moist tarp".
7. CATHY O'DONNELL
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Cathy O'Donnell was an actress, or something. We've never heard of her so she couldn't have been very successful or popular, but we did manage to find a photograph of her staring impassively as a priest has an epileptic fit on the floor in front of her.
6. CODPIECE
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Medieval men were weird perverts. For some reason, they wanted the world to think they were walking around with gigantic erections - hence the invention of the codpiece ('cod' is an old English word meaning 'scrotum'). Modern men have mostly replaced the codpiece with the sports car and Apple Watch.
5. THE CONCISE OXFORD DICTIONARY
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The Concise Oxford Dictionary was first published in 1911, or so we read a moment or two ago. In case you don't know, a dictionary is a book that explains the meaning of words. Words included in the Concise Oxford Dictionary include "protrusion", "balm" and "whimsy". Why not look them up? Also, a fun game to play is to pick any dictionary word at random, and add "brown" before it - thus instantly rendering it dirty-sounding. Why not play it with your gran?
4. CASH ON DELIVERY
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A popular financial transaction among criminals and back-street midwives.
3. HIRAM CODD
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The unusually named Hiram Codd was the inventor of The Codd Bottle - a type of glass bottle which used a marble as a stopper. Though they've fallen out of widespread use today, you can still find them in Japan, mostly used to store the popular soft drink Ramune, whatever that is. Given that he is no longer with us, we can only imagine as to whether Hiram Codd would've been a fan of CoD. We're going to wager a "maybe... maybe not".
2. CODEPENDENT
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Wikipedia describes co-dependecy thusly: "Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement". More succinctly, it could be described as "falling in love".
1. CORRUGATED OPTIC DUCT
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No idea. They look like robot carrots.
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4 Comments
ChorltonWheelie
4/11/2015 06:18:24 pm

No. 6.
Still used 'round these parts. I have particularly sweaty cods.

Reply
Mr Biffo
4/11/2015 07:14:56 pm

TMI?

Reply
Albert Bitchlord
7/11/2015 09:45:25 pm

My family and I spent a happy boxing day last year deciding our favourite preventable cause of death. I chose motor vehicle accident, my dear wife suggested STDs, the kids both demanded firearms and the mother-in-law...? Obesity of course! The stupid fat cow!

Reply
Random Reviewer
8/11/2015 06:07:54 pm

The epileptic priest line on No.7 was pretty great. I'm scrolling up again now - all I have to do is look at the picture and I get a laugh. It really is the gift that keeps on giving!

Reply



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