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10 BRILLIANTLY WRONG BOOTLEG DVD COVERS

16/9/2015

8 Comments

 
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We've all known that bloke haven't we - the one who knew someone who knew someone who can get dodgy DVDs?

When Mr Biffo was a youth, his local dodgy video man used to drive down his street in a special little van. He was like Santa Claus, if Santa Claus was suave, and a criminal. Once, Mr Biffo saw the dodgy video man delivering bread for Warburtons - evidently his day job - and the magic was dispelled.

Alas, the bootleg DVD market must surely be in freefall now, with the advent of illegal downloading. And that's a real big shame, because no bootleg DVDs means no bootleg DVD artwork, of the sort we highlight for you here... in this lissssst.

10. PEPE LOVES TACOS
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Xenu only knows what this movie is meant to be. But look: Tom Cruise is doing that face he does when he's trying to be intense... INTENSELY UNLIKEABLE THAT IS!!!!!! LOLMAOROFLFML.
9. SEAN CONNERY VS THE COCK
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Given Sean Connery's advanced years we wouldn't be surprised if he's long been fighting a losing battle with The Cock for some time now. Do you see?
8. FERRIS BUELLER DAY OFF
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Like a couple of these DVDs, it actually took us a moment to work out what was amiss in this artwork. Still, good of them to feature Broderick on the actual cover of his movie... but that doesn't make it any less inexplicable how this error might've been made. What is the process behind this?! How does this happen?!!!
7. THE CROW
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This is another one that, initially, we couldn't see anything wrong with. Go check out the original artwork for The Crow if you don't understand why we might've made that mistake. Go on. Do it... Oh fine. We'll do all the work, and stick it below then... but we're going to make it really small, so you have to squint. Ha ha. Sucked in. 
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6. THE LOIN KING II - SIMBA'S PRIDE
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"Not as good as the first one, but ok". Which is spot on. Frankly, we'd like to see a movie called The Loin King vs The Cock. Actually... no... somebody's probably done that. And - just for the record - we wouldn't actually like to see that movie. 
5. THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
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They seem very keen on informing us that Jesus speaks Nigeria languages, when just stating it once would've probably done the trick. Still, we suppose Him speaking Nigeria languages is the thing that most people take away from the story of The Crucifixion, rather than - y'know - the whole being nailed to some planks stuff and coming back to life and stuff. "Bugger me! Now He's speaking Nigeria languages!"
4. THE INCREDIBLE KING HULK
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It's remarkable how seamlessly King Kong blends into that image - suggesting that a Marvel/giant ape movie wouldn't be such a bad proposition. The Hulk is basically King Kong anyway, albeit hairless and green, and different.
3. BREAK SO BAD
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"Who me? Deal meth? C'mon, you guys!"
2. RED TAILS
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How do you sex up a movie about black WW2 airmen? Like this - with a patriotic and grateful bikini lady.
1. HARRY POTTER II
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Just read the description... and then go and have a little lie down. You'll need it.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • 32 BIZARRE AFRICAN MOVIE POSTERS
  • 10 VIDEO GAME TOILETS
  • 10 VIDEO GAME CONTROVERSIES


8 Comments
Hans Ondik
16/9/2015 09:55:48 am

I like how the Hulk is nice enough to give King Kong a piggyback.

Reply
Trevor Cod
16/9/2015 12:37:58 pm

This is very very tunny.

Reply
j2h
16/9/2015 12:51:12 pm

I'm like 80% sure that Ferris Bueller Day Off and Break So Bad are fakes. Like, not fakes as in "not authentic DVDs", but fakes as in "images someone made in Photoshop and put on the internet for funnies". (The Chinese text on Bueller seems to be taken from speaker packaging or something, which ironically is the exact sort of thing a real bootleg DVD would do with English)

Reply
Mr Biffo
16/9/2015 01:03:51 pm

Entirely possible. It's a minefield out there....

Reply
Gaijintendo
16/9/2015 09:07:50 pm

I remember my friend coming back from Afghanistan in the early noughties with loads of dvds featuring tepid reviews from imdb.

He also got sequels to movies which just contained an actress famous for a given role. For example there was Amélie 2, but it was probably "Happenstance".

This story has no punchline. I spent ages laughing my arse off under a tarp at a fruit stall.

Reply
LeighDappa
16/9/2015 11:27:19 pm

"Thank you noble Black man" ftw

Reply
Jopijedd
17/9/2015 05:58:19 pm

I SPEAK NIGERIA LANGUAGS TOO.

Reply
canduzgun link
21/9/2016 02:16:50 pm

add more movies
Harry porter school
usa
France
Spain

Reply



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