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10 BLATANT TEENAGE MUTANT TURTLES RIP-OFFS

1/6/2017

32 Comments

 
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2017 marks 30 years since the launch of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated series. Though Michelangelo, Raphael, Donny Osmond and Leon Trotsky had already been around for some years, first appearing in Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird's comics series, it wasn't until the cartoon, and subsequent toy line, that they became a full-fat phenomenon.

As with any phenomenon, there comes countless imitators attempting to clamber aboard the bandwagon, and the years following the Turtles cartoon saw numerous efforts to grab some of the anthropomorphised glory/millions of dollars.

Here are just ten of them.
WILD WEST C.O.W-BOYS OF MOO MESA
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Running for two animated series from 1992 to 1993, the shockingly-named Wild West C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa was a pun-drench steam punk romp, revolving around a mutated community of cattle, that had been transformed by a radioactive "cow-met" (comet).

Living by the Code Of the West (C.O.W., see), characters included Lily Bovine, Cowlamity Kate Cudster, Cody Calf, the Cowlorado Kid, Buffalo Bull, and - most confusingly of all - a bison character called JR who was voiced by somebody called Michael Horse.

Konami released a reasonable arcade adaptation, that - appropriately - borrowed heavily from its own Western-themed Sunset Riders. 
BIKER MICE FROM MARS
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"In this wild and woolly universe, there are three things you can count on: your brains, your bros and your bike!"

Biker Mice From Mars was launched in the UK with a major publicity blitz that attempted to position it as the natural successor to the Turts. I can attest to this, as I attended the main licensing launch - as Konami had once again secured the video game rights.

​The TV show focused on three motorcycling refugees from a war-torn Mars - Throttle, Modo and Vinnie -  who escape to earth only to discover that the evil aliens are now trying to destroy Chicago.

​Why Chicago? Space reasons. 

Troublingly, despite being a large mouse, Vinnie spends much of the series flirting with Charley, a female human mechanic.

Being as their enemies were mice, the alien Plutarkians all had cheese-based names; Lawrence Limburger, Lord Camembert and Napoleon Brie. Literally none of these are made up.
BUCKY O'HARE AND THE TOAD WARS
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There were no mutations in Bucky O'Hare and the Toad Wars. Instead, it was set in an alternate universe populated by anthropomorphised animals.

Like the Turts, Bucky O'Hare started life in an independent comic book, albeit this time around the amphibians are the enemies. Bucky and his friends - Jenny (a cat), Willy DuWitt (a human boy from Earth), and Deadeye Duck (a duck, presumably) - work for S.P.A.C.E. (Sentient Protoplasm Against Colonial Encroachment), in a bid to stop the evil Toad Empire, and its computer AI ruler KOMPLEX.

Inevitably, Bucky appeared in two video games - one an arcade beat 'em up, and an NES platformer.
BATTLETOADS
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Though starting life as a famously challenging video game franchise, courtesy of our very own Rare, Battletoads was clearly influenced by the Turtles.

Following the success of the games, it was picked up for an animated TV pilot. Alas, the characters (Zitz, Rash and Pimple) never proceeded to a full series - which was just as well, given its blatant lifting of the Turtles' surfer-speak (albeit in the TV version, the characters were high school dudes, blessed with the ability to turn into the titular toads)
STREET SHARKS
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The premise of Street Sharks had John, Bobby, Coop, and Clint - the four sons of the curiously pun-less Doctor Robot Bolton - transformed accidentally into powerful half-shark creatures, and adopting the names Ripster, Jab, Streex, and, well... Big Slammu.

The series' main antagonists were Dr Paradigm - a half-piranha man, and his subservient Seaviates. Most troublingly, however, allies of the Street Sharks included characters called Bends and Moby Lick. 
ROAD ROVERS
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The Road Rovers were a team of dogs mutated via radiation from an exploding "transdogmafier"; Hunter, Colleen, Blitz, Exile, and, um, Shag.

​Their chief antagonist was General Parvo, a "feline sapien", and his assistant The Groomer (armed with hair clipper, and - inexplicably - an endless supply of throat lozenges to help Parvo with his constant cough).
SAMURAI PIZZA CATS
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Based on the anime series Cat Ninja Legend Teyandee, the Samurai Pizza Cats were Speedy Cherviche, Polly Ester and Guido Anchovy, who operate out of the Pizza Cat Restaurant in the futuristic city of Little Tokyo. When not fighting evil, and attempting to bring down a corrupt Prime Minister and his band of ninja crows (obviously), the cats earned their keep by delivering pizzas. 

Other characters were called things like Big "Al" Dente and Emperor Fred (the ruler of Little Tokyo, who went so insane after having his wisdom teeth removed that he turned into a scat singer). 

Progressively for the time, the main villain, Seymour Cheese, was a flamboyant cross-dresser who often appeared wearing female underwear, and would flirt with his male subordinates.
THE CHEETAHMEN
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Only existing as a pair of video games for the NES - the first of which appeared on the famously glitchy compilation Action 52 - The Cheetahmen were a team of genetically-engineered cheetah martial artists - Apollo, Hercules and Aries.

They fought a succession of other humanised animals, created by the evil Dr Pubis (Morbis), as well as the games' own clunky controls. The sequel was pulled from release, but its ROM has subsequently leaked online, cementing The Cheetahmen as one of the worst game franchises to have ever been almost released.

Suffice to say, ambitious plans for an animated series and toyline never came to fruition. 
EXTREME DINOSAURS
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As if dinosaurs weren't extreme enough already, Extreme Dinosaurs transformed a team of them into half-human mercenaries. Attempting to capitalise not only on the then-waning popularity of the Turtles, but also the Jurassic Park movie series, Extreme Dinosaurs - T-Bone, Stegz, Bullzeye, Spike and Hard Rock - protected earth against an army of interdimensional raptors.

They operated out of a dinosaur museum owned by Porcupine Duvall, and for some reason occasionally teamed up with Prince H - a member of the British Royal Family.
CYBOARS
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A short-lived line of action figures inspired by an equally short-lived comic book, Cyboars also existed as a short-lived CGI series. Half-robot/half-pig, the Cyboars crashed to earth in a spaceship - along with their godawful names; Hog Kong, Cyber Chop, Bush Hog, Rabid Fire, and Air Boar. Terrible.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
10 VIDEO GAME CARTOONS THAT YOU'VE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT
​
10 WAYS TO KILL BUBSY THE BOBCAT USING ELECTRICITY
10 GAME CHARACTERS WITH "ATTITUDE"


32 Comments
Biscuits
1/6/2017 11:18:47 am

The Samurai Pizza Cats cartoon was great because they handed the original tapes to the translators and let them do what they want. It was packed with 'meta' commentary, self-referential quips and inside jokes, and had the tone of a weary wiseass, like Bill Murray. At least that's how I remember it.

Still, 'Guido Anchovy' eh? Yeesh. A different time I guess

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Spiney O'Sullivan
1/6/2017 02:20:32 pm

Samurai Pizza Cats was hilarious. I suspect it took itself a bit more seriously in the original version (though probably not much), but I recall it being very meta. Sometimes I consider rewatching it, but I'm always afraid I'll be massively disappointed.

It's the same fear that keeps me from hunting down the old Sam and Max, The Tick, and Freakazoid cartoons.

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Mrtankthreat
1/6/2017 02:26:00 pm

I bought all the dvds of The Tick (animated by the way, not the live action thing) a few years ago. Watch it. You will not be disappointed. I also watched most of Earthworm Jim on YouTube. Seriously funny stuff.

Nocturne
2/6/2017 02:26:08 pm

I rewatched Pizza Cats a couple of years ago. I say rewatched but I only caught a few episodes the first time it was on. There's a few duff ones but for the most part it holds up really well.

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Jol
1/6/2017 11:34:29 am

Oh man, what a trip down memory lane. I feel gripped by the warm embrace of nostalgia.

"Bucky! Captain Bucky O'Hare! He goes where no ordinary rabbit would dare!"

Loved that show, even though they only made about 12 episodes. It might even hold up today, at least compared to its peers. The intro / theme tune was awesome.

Samurai Pizza Cats was one of those shows that only seemed to be on at half term, like that Legend of Zelda cartoon where Link was too lazy to swing his sword so he fired lasers out of it instead. I think it might be on Crunchyroll, if anyone wants to see sci-fi samurai cats serve pizza and hit things.

While scrolling down the list I expected to see Avenger Penguins, but sadly not. Everything else got a game, why not them? Nothing says badass like a penguin on a motorbike.

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Biscuitsy your boy from down the road
1/6/2017 11:41:50 am

Avenger Penguins was another David Jason-fronted Cosgrove Hall effort, I remember liking it (though not as much as Duckula or Dangermouse). The theme tune was so schizophrenic I can still remember a good portion of it, despite having seen the show maybe 5 times:

"Avenger
Avenger
Avenger PENGUINS

On their motorbikes, they are ready to fiiiight, ooooh, in BIG CITY

When the goings good, or when the goings rough, this big Big City just aint big enough"

See?

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RG
1/6/2017 12:29:33 pm

Talking of Cosgrove Hall, does anybody remember "Alias the Jester"? I'm starting to think I made it up...

Jol
1/6/2017 12:35:59 pm

I see! I could only remember it up to "they are ready to fight", except until I read your transcription I thought the line was "and they're not just trikes". I must have been under the impression the audience needed clarification on their mode of transport.

I too was a big fan of Duckula. I went to see a theatrical production of it, I remember the costumes being gigantic (I was about 8 at theh time mind you). The head of for the Duckula costume was so large that the guy's face was positioned inside Duckula's mouth, peering out at the audience from within that big beak. It was like some kind of furry body horror.

Their local stone mason must've been raking it in, what with Nanny bursting through walls all the time.

Biscuits
1/6/2017 12:54:41 pm

We were both mistaken! "Marlon leads the fight" is the correct line. I love the internet me

Biscuits again, christ
1/6/2017 01:11:19 pm

Hahah that Duckula production sounds horrific, I would've been gutted/terrified! On a similar tip:

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.271613.1314340245!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/amd-nemo-jpg.jpg


For what it's worth, Nanny was tied for favourite with Duckula for me

Monkey Head
1/6/2017 10:00:54 pm

RG, I remember Alias the Jester, I can vaguely recall the theme music and that he had a dog called Boswell (I think).
On a similar note, did anyone else recall The New Smu? think it was made by the same people who did Captain Caveman, I've not meet anyone else who remembers it.

RG
2/6/2017 12:37:14 pm

That rings a bell - and now I have to find out what it was to get rid of the itch in my brain. I think you might have the name wrong, but despite my best internet searching - I can't find it...

Wistful Biscuits
1/6/2017 12:03:41 pm

Maybe I'll leave loads of comments today

re: Street Sharks: If memory serves, these actually came way after the Turtles heyday. While on holiday I bought a bunch of the toys due to them being massive, well made solid toys. And 2 quid. We put them on the end of a pool skimmer and launched them like a catapult, trying to make them hit the concrete around the pool so they would shatter.

I also copped off with someone for the first time that holiday, so I'm lucky enough to say that romance and Street Sharks are inextricably linked for me. Misty water colored memories

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
1/6/2017 02:25:39 pm

I feel like Swat Kats: The Radical Squadron deserves to be noted. I don't remember it having toys, but there was at least a 16-bit game, and as cartoons about anthropomorphic animals from the 90s go, it was great

It also had one of the most awesome TV show themes ever, full of chunky rock riffs and utterly triumphant electric guitar wailing.

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Biscuits
1/6/2017 03:02:31 pm

What the lads over at Enhance my Tarp might refer to as 'Powerful Music'?

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JAWSOME
1/6/2017 03:01:29 pm

I also would have accepted 'SWAT Kats'

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Paul
1/6/2017 03:08:04 pm

The ting about the Turtles was at the time, everyone seemed scared of the word “Ninja”. So much so that the cartoons had to be renamed “Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles” here to help stem any moral panic that the kids were somehow going to get into death stars, nunchaku, etc..

These days, these Ninjas are so fun and cuddly that kids of all ages can enjoy them without any absurd censorship.

Fun fact: One of the two times I fell asleep during a film in the cinema is when I went to see the first TMNT film. The other time was during Independence Day.

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Biscuits, having a slow day at work
1/6/2017 03:37:33 pm

You're right! I was the coolest kid at school (for half an hour) because my friend went to America and got me a Turtles bag that said 'Ninja' instead of 'Hero'

Reply
Jol
1/6/2017 05:06:45 pm

Yeah it's easy to overlook that there was something of a ninja craze in the booming straight-to-VHS market in the 80s. They weren't exactly video nasties but the uk press (and public) likes nothing more than a bit of hysterical moral panic.

Hey there's a fun topic Biffo: video game nasties. I'd expand on that some more but it's time to leave work.

King of Duckhenrys
1/6/2017 05:08:13 pm

Feels like Bucky O'Hare is out of place. Yeah, the main characters were animals, but that's it. You might as well put StarFox/Wing on the list.

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Meatballs-me-branch-me-do
1/6/2017 05:22:36 pm

Pizza Cats was only a Turtles rip-off in name, and that's because (as others have said) it was the localization team given free reign to make as many grown up jokes as they liked.

The Battletoads comic produced to promote the game and published in Nintendo Power had the toads as three guys who played a video game in front of a live studio audience - but it turned out the game was actually a portal to another dimension and their exploits were causing trouble for the Dark Queen's fiendish plans therein.

Bucky O'Hare was superb and not just because of the theme song. You had planets being destroyed and Jenny the Psychic Cat getting beat down by KOMPLEX.

I remember the Wild West COW Boys getting exposure because Cody (snot nosed son of morning show host Kathie Lee Gifford) liked it because there was a character with the same name as him.

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foreskinny
1/6/2017 06:54:06 pm

Good comment, but that's your KLG reference right now?

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superfog
1/6/2017 07:57:23 pm

So many comments, so little time...

"​Why Chicago? Space reasons."

This is a common response I give to Mrs Superfog

Mrs: "Why are there no crisps left?" - me: "Space reasons"
Mrs: "Oi!" - me: "It's the haunting secret of Space and/or Time"
me: "Is it time for me Space story?" - Mrs: "Once upon a time there was the Planet of the Cats" - me: "Please Pingu! come and save me from this evil"

"Yeah it's easy to overlook that there was something of a ninja craze in the booming straight-to-VHS market in the 80s."

Sir, I refer you to http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

The main problem with the Turtle Ninja things were their rubbish names, I would have called them:

Kevin
Colin
DEAN
Goblin Boy

It is time for my Space Snoooooze, so I shall bid you all Space goodnight!

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Rowan Lipkovits link
1/6/2017 10:12:50 pm

No mention of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolescent_Radioactive_Black_Belt_Hamsters ? Shocked I am frankly shocked and scandalized.

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Kara Van Park
1/6/2017 10:15:29 pm

The Road Rovers look like a meeting of Furries that also have a rubber fetish.

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Nick
1/6/2017 10:29:44 pm

They meet every third Monday in the Methodist church hall annex 4pm onwards.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
2/6/2017 02:32:17 pm

I thought it was a kids' cartoon version of We3.

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Kara Van Park
1/6/2017 10:55:46 pm

Why did they move it from the Tuesd... ...I mean, do they?

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Kara Van Park
2/6/2017 05:07:53 pm

Post-pubertic Anxious Barn Owls
Post-pubertic Anxious Barn Owls
Post-pubertic Anxious Barn Owls
Birds with a head spin
Owl Power

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Kara Van Park
2/6/2017 05:08:37 pm

*post-pubetic for fuck's sake.

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Nicholas
2/6/2017 11:23:33 pm

Winganardo squarks
Hoot-a-tello pecks machines
Feath'rael is cool but rude
Mike and Angelo are the party dudes
Waheyyyyy!
*walks up walls to ceiling*

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Fisty McTits
4/6/2017 03:20:28 pm

Battletoads was harder than peeling an apple with a Mars bar - in the back seat of a car being driven by Stevie Wonder after a skin-full.

Reply



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