Have you seen these comedy dinner shows they do? Basically, it's a sort of chicken-in-a-basket night, where actors flail around the diners pretending to be characters from classic sitcoms; Fawlty Towers, Only Fools And Horses, 'Allo 'Allo, and - Thor help us - Mrs Brown's Boys.

Familiar costumes and catchphrases appear in lieu of anything approaching actual creativity, the actors looking slightly off, but not so off as to be completely jarring - so long as you squint. It's warm and familiar, and audiences laugh out of recognition, because some people are sufficiently stupid for that to be enough. 

Anyway, that's what Marvel's Avengers kind of reminded me of. It's Marvel's Avengers: The Comedy Dinner Show. 

"Don't mention The Infinity War! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it."

"Hahahahahahahahaha!"

Except here you have to pay extra if you want Iron Man to do that bit where he falls through the bar.

Ghost of Tsushima is the PS4's last big honk, its final big platform exclusive, discharging into our laps a month or so after the penultimate big platform exclusive, The Last of Us Part 2.

To say I enjoyed TLoU2 would be an understatement. It would also be inaccurate. I mean, it's the most miserable video game ever made. I don't think anybody could actually enjoy that amount of relentless anguish and anxiety. It was like being strapped into a gnarly chair, with your eyes forced open by a couple of uncomfortable metal hooks, while Twitter scrolls in front of you on a big screen. 

Also: the room is full of hungry rats. And you're not wearing shoes or trousers. 

It probably didn't help that I binged it in three days, by the end of which I emerged bow-legged from its unrelenting emotional pounding. That isn't a criticism; it just shows you how effective The Last of Us 2 was at making me feel stuff. In my view, there's no doubt it's one of the greatest video games ever made, its lustre dimmed only by the radicalism of bigots.  

While I accept it may have driven its development team to near collapse, it doesn't so much raise the bar for the right way to achieve video game storytelling and characterisation as strap it to a rocket it and fire it into the moon. 

Tsushima, therefore, had a tough act to follow. Regardless, there's no bar-raising here; they keep it firmly on the ground, surrounded by all the predictable comforts we've grown accustomed to. For a game so full of horses, it is perhaps understandable that it did so little to scare them.  

Whereas TLoU2 had a story that could never be easily summarised in a single sentence, Tsushima can be encapsulated thus: a samurai man does some things, because the Mongols have invaded the pretty island where he lives. 

Wait. Two sentences: sometimes he gets a new hat!

And you sometimes see his bare bum. 

Three sentences, then. 

Hello all. I started out with the intention of this blog being a higher tier Patreon exclusive, but we're all in this together, and while we're being locked away... we don't have to be completely shut off.

Rest assured, all Patrons will continue getting the videos early, and the higher tier gang will hopefully be getting some exclusive video content over the next week. I'm going to scour the hard drives for whatever I might have that we never used.

I think I said already that I kind of want to do some rough-and-ready videos with Sanja alongside our regular ones. No idea what they might entail, and I've not ruled out doing a live stream either. Luckily, Gannon lives near me, so - providing neither of us have symptoms in the next week or so - we can get together to film some regular videos too.

I'm going to need that.

It's weird, but I had a phone meeting yesterday about work, and it really, really helped me to be focusing on that for an hour, and not thinking about everything else that's going on. Working this week has been such a challenge, as I keep checking the news every five seconds. It was nice to feel, even if it'll be proved futile, that some part of life is carrying on as normal.

I was going to write something on Patreon today about what we're all living through - it's where I do most of my blogs now - but I thought it might, possibly, be more helpful to make this one public.

My situation is no different from billions of others around the world. I've no greater insight than any of you may have into what's happening. I'm hardly unique in struggling to process the scale and seriousness of the pandemic. 

I'm not alone in being worried about money. TV and film productions are shutting down all over the world. I'm still working for now - or trying to - but 50% of the income I was banking on this year depends on the shows actually getting made. Apparently, it's currently hard for productions to get insurance. The knife-edge of freelance life. Again, I'm hardly the only one suffering that uncertainty.

I've got a daughter who was due to get married in May. Whether that can still go ahead in some form is anybody's guess. I've got another daughter and a step-daughter in isolation right now. Neither of them live with me, but the common denominator between both is that they are quite social, and work with the public.

They're young. They'll get over it. That is, even if it is IT...

With testing now only being available to those with severe symptoms, and celebrities, they won't know for certain if they've ever actually had the coronavirus.

For me, it's more a signifier of how fast and far this has now spread, and how inadequate the government's response has been. Both my local hospitals have had deaths. Another of my daughter's schools has had confirmed cases (yet remains open)...

Most worryingly, I've got parents in their 80s. My mum has COPD and assorted other serious ailments, my dad had a stroke and a heart attack 18 months or so ago. It's them I'm really concerned for. I'm worried about what sort of care will be available to them when the NHS starts to collapse under the weight of all this. 

And, of course, there's no end in sight to any of it. The most likely scenario that I can see happening is a pattern of lockdowns, followed by periods where we're all allowed out again, followed by another lockdown. And that this will continue until whenever it is they can distribute a vaccine. Realistically, we're a minimum of a year away from that. 

Making sandwiches, shaving, and giving a makeover - simple tasks that Eli Silverman (Barshens, Cheapshow) and Paul Gannon must perform while wearing upside-down glasses... all to please our king, Ash Frith. The loser has to eat a 100 year-old century egg!

What were the final words of your favourite celebrities, including Freddie Mercury from Queen? Find out on Digitiser Deluxe - featuring Mr Biffo, Paul Gannon, and Sanja, plus special guests Chris Jerden Cooke and Sooz Kempner! The winners receive a luxury memorial!

The worst, dumbest, Kickstarter campaigns and products ever versus fake ones - Biffo challenges Gannon, Eli and special guest Ash Frith play to tell the difference in this ridiculous Digitiser Deluxe game! Can you guess the right answers?

Newwwwwssss! Tickets for Digi Live 2.0 have sold extremely well. Given we've still got five months to go, and we've sold all but 100 or so of the tickets, I'm hopeful we're going to sell out, or as near as dammit. Which is great. Get yours now so you don't miss out.

If you missed the earlier FAQ, you can find that here. However, a few updates:

We're planning to have a merch table. We've ordered some Digi Logo enamel badges, and - we'll know for certain once they arrive here and have shipped to backers - we may have a limited number of Digitiser The Show DVDs. We probably aren't going to do t-shirts, given the faff with both sizes and the space needed for them, but we're going to sell at least one limited edition Digitiser Live 2.0 shirt beforehand through our Redbubble store, so you can wear it to the event. 

Mugs take up a lot of space too, and are expensive, so most likely we'll just be selling the badges, and possibly posters and postcards. Again, if you want mugs, check out Redbubble. 

Chunky Fringe is coming together, and you can read all about it here. It'll run from 11am to 5pm on the day of the event, and is free to all. Highlights include a Digitiser quiz, a retro gaming panel, and some sort of panel with me on it talking about Digi and Teletext.

Chris Bell is also looking to book somewhere on the Friday night for some sort of gathering. We had considered a screening of some Biffo-related stuff at the Arts Centre, but unfortunately the small hall is being refurbished.

There's also now a Facebook group for attendees. You can find that here. If you're coming on your own, and you're a little anxious, it's the perfect way to introduce yourself, and get to know people beforehand. As said many times, it's a lovely community, and very understanding of people's differing needs. You will be welcomed.

In other news, you may well have seen the first episode of Digitiser Deluxe. I'm very proud of it - it feels like the channel has a new focus. But anyhow, during this first run of Digi Deluxe, you'll be seeing a lot of both Sooz Kempner and Ash Frith. I think it's okay now to announce them both as the first confirmed guests for this year's Digi Live. They fit into Digi perfectly, and I couldn't be more honoured that they want to keep being involved. 

We've got other guests lined-up, but as it's availability dependent, we'll have to confirm them nearer the time. Suffice to say, if we manage to get everyone we want to get... it's going to be a very special day. 

In the first episode of Digitiser Deluxe, we try out real prison food hack recipes, including Prison Pizza, Prison Pad Thai, and Prison Tamales - plus ultra--rare prison chips/crisps, The Whole Shebang. Mr Biffo, Paul Gannon and Eli Silverman, ex of Barshens, stuff their fat faces with special guest Sooz Kempner.

​Not for children! Contains flashing images.

DO NOT WATCH! Due to forces beyond our control, this episode of Digitiser contains a curse. What was intended as a fun general knowledge quiz, with impossible questions about Pokemon vs Digimon, Nintendo's Super Punch-Out and drag queens - and featuring a reunion between Barshens friends Paul Gannon and Chris Bullock - is instead inexplicably haunted. Please accept our apologies.